porcelain doll
by cronaxgorgon
Summary: They were broken and glued together imperfectly - and not being able to fix them was driving her insane. CroMa oneshot.


Crona was a good person.

Maka believed that with every fiber of her being. They were so sweet and soft and gentle, and the way they smiled at her was nothing short of perfection. Hugging them made her heart race and her body feel light and fluttery. All she could find in their eyes was love and honesty. This child was a pure soul who would have never hurt a fly...

If it wasn't for _her_.

It was so easy to get used to the adorable, shy Crona, to running her hands through their soft hair and holding their hand, to their endearing awkwardness, but remembering who they were when she first met them made her shiver. She would never be able to understand their madness and it creeped her out.

While it was easy to love the Crona the way they are right now, accepting their past was a different story.

Every once in a while they said or did something that was _really really fucked up_ and she couldn't just pretend it didn't happen. Usually, when she couldn't ignore something, she tried to fix it. But you cannot fix trauma. You cannot love away all problems.

Coming in terms with the other side of Crona was so, so painful. It physically hurt to imagine the trail of dead bodies they have left behind before meeting her, it hurt to remember their insane laughter and sunken, sickly eyes. It hurt that she couldn't glue them together with her love like a broken porcelain doll, even though there is quite a similarity between the two.

It hurt.

* * *

They looked ghostly compared to their surroundings. All the bright, saturated green and blue of the grass and sky, the red poppies, Maka's yellow sundress - and then there was Crona, with their pastel lavender hair, pale skin and washed out black and white robe. They seemed to not be doing too well in the past few days but agreed when she invited them to have a picnic with her. Now, they were staring off into space, not aware of their surroundings.

She waved her hand in front of their face.

,,Earth to Crona!" she said in a fake cheery tone. The wide smile she gave them was hurting her cheeks, nothing about it was natural, right, true. She could even feel how crooked it was.

The child remained completely oblivious, though.

 _How couldn't they?_ Maka thought solemnly, thinking back to the bits of their past she knew. _They grew up completely isolated._

,,A-Ah! I-I'm sorry. I'm... Too spacey today." they replied, looking down.

,,It's alright, of course!" Maka said, leaning in to pat their head. They flinched - and immediately tried to cover it up with a smile. It took her entire willpower not to sigh.

 _You cannot fix them._

* * *

A scream woke Maka up. Immediately, she jolted up and searched for the source of the scream. She didn't have to look too far - Crona was lying next to her, shaking. Their eyes were wide and staring at the ceiling. _Nightmares, huh?_

,,Crona, are you alright?" she asked with concern. Sure, it was just a nightmare, and if this was anyone else she would have brushed it off, but in this case, they could have just relived something traumatizing. Or maybe it was a normal nightmare, but they were so vulnerable, it didn't matter.

Instead of a response, they hugged her arm. Then they started clumsily patting her skin, moving upwards to the shoulder, neck and face. Their palms were sweaty. It should have been gross or even scary, but she didn't really mind. They continued touching her.

,,You're real, you're real..." they muttered between the short, raspy breaths. A relieved smile lit their face up, but everything about their body language besides that radiated off terror. It was a weird combination. ,,Can I kiss you?"

Maka nodded, her eyes wide. They haven't kissed before. She often felt like she was taking advantage of them when initiating physical contact so this was a nice change. Usually, they had an aversion towards touching people besides Maka, and even then, they were more than reserved.

They started kissing her face, her hair, her hands. She could feel their shaky breaths on her skin and it felt funny. _These were probably the first kisses they have ever given,_ she thought.They were awkward and desperate, so desperate to feel her skin. Something about them felt right.

Crona got rid off all the restraints they have built over the years in this moment, and if they managed to do that, so could she.

She kissed them back.

* * *

It was 2 AM when she found them sitting on the couch in their pastel yellow pajamas, mindlessly watching the TV as they rocked back and forth. At first, she intended to get a glass of water and go to sleep again - but instead, she plopped down next to Crona.

,,Can't sleep?"

There it was. That little flinch that used to drive her crazy.

They shrugged as a response. Maka was about to continue talking when she noticed that they want to say something. She gave them room to put their thoughts into words.

,,I... Keep thinking about... My mother." they cringed a little at the word.

,,Oh! Do you-"

,,She made me look at dead people."

 _Oh._

,,F-First... They were just pictures. I hated it, but they were just pictures. She made me draw some of them so I'd understand the anatomy. She made me draw them over and over." Their voice cracked.

Maka got closer to them and started playing with their hair - she knew it always calmed them down. Her presence was already calming to them, but feeling her touch also helped them not lose track of what is real and what is not.

,,T-Then... She brought real bodies. C-Cut up bodies. Again, I was supposed to draw them again and again, perfectly. I learnt where exactly the organs are. Then, I was to s-stab them. She told me where and I practiced it over and over. S-So I wouldn't mess up when I... When I was the one killing them." They gulped.

Maka leaned in to hug them, a single tear running down her cheek. She smiled. Genuinely.

,,If I could revive her just to beat her up and then kill her again, I'd do it." she said half-jokingly while stroking Crona's shoulder. She couldn't fix them, but that didn't mean she couldn't give them love.

,,I'm so sorry about what she has done to you, but... You have us now. We love you so, so much. And she's gone for good. She won't hurt you anymore."

They smiled in response.

She couldn't fix them, but that was alright, because they were hugging while a questionable TV programme was playing in the background, and Crona was wearing the pastel yellow pajamas with the flower print that she got them because she thought they would suit them and they have never worn any other pajamas since then, and she could feel their cold hand on her leg, and see how they leaned in a little, opening their mouth to say something, and see the dark blush creep onto their cheeks.

,,Can I kiss you?"

,,Of course."

She couldn't fix them, but that was alright.


End file.
